Conflict

No matter you know it consciously or not, we are constantly undergoing various conflicts of various degrees of intensity in our day-to-day existence, some examples are external conflicts with other people and the environment such as quarrels and dissonance, and those take place inside ourselves, psyche, to be more precise.

The construct, conflict, is not necessarily endowed with a negative connotation which is associated with unpleasant feelings or undesirable outcomes, at least in the field of psychoanalysis.  The fact is, according to psychoanalysts, whether the consequence of a conflict is negative or positive depends on the strength of our self, which is known as ego strength, and its ability to adjust, adapt, control and carry out defenses to cope with the anxiety, the initial form of psychopathology, arised.

Well, it seems that I am going too far....  Don't panic!  What has been mentioned in the previous few sentences is in fact the core of this blog and some of the concepts and  dynamics involved will be further discussed and examined in my subsequent posts.

To start with, let me look into myself and do some self-analysis to kick this blog off.

Now I am sitting in front of my study desk, working hard on my blog, of which I just realized the deadline is 17 December, which is only a few days away.  Of course,  people around me may think I am perfectly fine that I am a conscientious, self-driven and devoted person who is willing to dive into another intellectual strenuous task right after a day of work.  What they don't really know is the fierce conflict behind the scene.  Underneath this observable and praiseworthy behavior, something is actually happening in my psyche, sort of tension, conflict and compromise and my sitting here is the result of the conflict.

Apparently,  my self has been divided into a few parts with some going against one another, while some trying to mediate to achieve a mentally healthy equilibrium. 

One part of me is voicing out its needs and desires, "I would like to relax, rest and watch TV, rather than working on this!!"

Another part keeps reminding me the deadline of this assignment, "I should not be doing anything else, not even having my supper, but writing something on my blog.  I don't have much time left and if I don't start doing it, my grade will suffer and I shall probably miss a chance of learning as well" which evokes a sense of guilt within me.

The remaining one is like a mediator compromising among the two trying to resolve the conflict and the guilt aroused, "well, let put in the first post before having dinner, perhaps I can even watch a short episode before coming back for work again".

Conflict resolved.

Anxiety being dealt with.

And I am working on my first post.

This is precisely the intra-psychic dynamics  I would like to capture here in this post.